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The ceiling fan. Textbook. Shopping bag. The Laundry basket. iPad. Rumpled bed. Searching for the best idea of the bunch, like ... -
Images of broken light dance before me like a million eyes Possessing and caressing me Waves of joy drift through my open mind ...
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It was a dark muscular truck monster wheels like biceps of steel. On that night, the big hulk rolled down my driveway, size surreal...
In terms of aesthetics, I think you are right on target for what a blackout poem should look like. I love seeing your cross outs and how you made them your own. I don't think I necessarily understand the meaning of the "effectual truth" but I think you did a good job reducing a page of the Prince into smaller bytes that look like a poem. Maybe you can make it sound more poem like by removing some words like "the" and adding more of your own as you already started to do.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the way in which you chose to present this poem on your blog. I think that getting to see the process that got the poem to where it is now is really cool. I especially like how to chose to build your poem based off of an excerpt of philosophy.I also love how you sketched your own word- "counts"- in huge, bold letters because it created a feeling of closure at the end of the poem.
ReplyDeleteI just wish I found got to find out what exactly "the effectual truth" is, but maybe I'll have to read the rest of The Prince to find out.
-Abigail Adler
I appreciate the way in which you chose to present this poem on your blog. I think that getting to see the process that got the poem to where it is now is really cool. I especially like how to chose to build your poem based off of an excerpt of philosophy.I also love how you sketched your own word- "counts"- in huge, bold letters because it created a feeling of closure at the end of the poem.
ReplyDeleteI just wish I found got to find out what exactly "the effectual truth" is, but maybe I'll have to read the rest of The Prince to find out.
-Abigail Adler
I like how personalized this poem is. The cross-outs are really your own and the design you did is really nice. I had a difficult time reading the poem because I was not sure what order to go in with the words at the beginning.
ReplyDeleteThe way you presented this poem is creative and effective, but makes me wonder what words you chose to cross out as they are almost illegible. I like how you made the title and the last work look similar, as it ties all together. However, i had difficulty understanding the meaning of the poem, and you might consider including more powerful verbs and stronger adjectives. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThe way you presented this poem is creative and effective, but makes me wonder what words you chose to cross out as they are almost illegible. I like how you made the title and the last work look similar, as it ties all together. However, i had difficulty understanding the meaning of the poem, and you might consider including more powerful verbs and stronger adjectives. Good job!
ReplyDelete