A Snowy Day Dream.

(to be read while listening to "Follow the Sun" by Xavier Rudd)

Letting out a little smirk
As she intently listens to the teacher
she can see the stuff of substance
the glimmer in his eye.

Snow trickles down outside the glass
some pieces unsightly large
others smaller than tibids of fur
the sky pulls every single one

Some littles take their time in falling
other biggies plunge forth and some littles
skitter faster past the biggins.
But they are all headed down.
Gravity is funny.

The wisps swirl together in crystal
speckled sheens, moving all in unison.
They look even prettier when you can hear
the tickling of that sweet jazz strum.

One little gets smacked by the wind.
But rushes right back to it's spot, no care.
She can hear the harmonica whistling
A little tune that follows it's own path.

But let me ask: why do they rush to the ground?
What's coming to the littles and bigs when
they reach the bottom of the white wisps?
she nestles softly to sleep in her chair and hears

a lullaby. Some flakes open their eyes and rise
higher and higher, curl their toes and twirl their heels.
Words lay themselves down on other words and she
breaths in steadying her gaze onto all the wisps together.

The air is cold and dangerous in her nostrils,
but still feels pleasant as she lets it out.
In her mind, all the wisps are falling to a big black
sea of water, that moves rippling one way.

Just a regular body of water by a park
It's hard to find it's exact mark on the map
The wisps are crystal water but still have a part
dark sea inside each one in the collection of white sheen.

The snow falls into it, and disappears and melts
letting the rush go but continuing the rush within.
It doesn't really matter where the wisps are going
as long as they are going somewhere.

Because that somewhere is gravity.
The movement is obvious. She observes and
finds her friends in the wisps.
That one strolls steadily like Lily.

The group of whisps on the right seem
to stay together in a pack. Probably those
arrogant men she hears about. That last one in the corner
moves up and down like her friend, Carrie.

She scans the big group, spotting everyone person.
Neighbors, sisters, and exes. And just as
she's certain she's found herself among the wisps
a circular facial blur covers her view.

Blue eyes, taupe-y side swept hair.
His face and beard scruff comes into focus.
Across the room, he seems to be grinning
his eyes directly looking at her.

She smirks and feels her cheeks burn
quickly turns away, maybe he didn't see her smile.
But she's already caught. How could he?
Intrude her pleasant daydream. Ugh!

But her smirk is still there :)

Just visible Enough for Those Who Wish to See it

Pictures coming soon :)

A poem about ambiguity.

Tingle. Curated this mess.
Opening for nothing.
Muted mist.

Why did it happen? Was it ever true?
How do they see us? How do we see us?
Could I just, for a moment...
turn it off?

Gray knows the truth.
We fall down with gravity.
Breath in the foggy mist.
It's in the how.

Singing Words

Phases exist in bubbles of shininess
seemingly irredescent and invincible
as each one gets it mark through people
and their reflection in our memories and thought.

What's funny though, is that these phases,
are just figments, penetrable in a single moment.
fantasies of transparency, a way to wist
after, luscious truthful clarity.

Just visible enough for those who wish to see them.

Gray: Friend or Foe?

If I was to dip my toe in
a pool of sucking sand would it take my foot?
or could I pull away? Is it the same pull
from and away the men of our pasts?

These questions grab my head- though not always
But when they do grab, it's easy to sink more
What if what now what how? Grappling apple-ing
leaving sour aftertastes of unripened fruits

It cooks, mulls over, and ripens within
The blurs of anger and sadness sparkle away.
It's ambiguous! What a joke! Another contradiction?
Black and white wrestle each other while
gray rests, simply, tritely, arms folded like the Mona Lisa.

Gray knows the truth- the marriage of black and white
that govern us like muppets. Isn't it easier?
To come to an answer of both? It's a tie! No--
People hate ties, there should always be a winner.

The only way- all questions are soothed is
with a confined answer, in a box, unchangeable.
But love, tears, sweat, and strife can not be
closed and squeezed to one school of thought.

we are the creators. Sound cliche, eh?
But cliche is just a synonym for truth.
Laugh,  you sarcastics, all you want but
those who follow me, can see the wisps of truth
that float in the air, just visible enough,
to reveal your mischievous knowing smile.

Poppers pop! Streamers stream! A moment of celebration!
This gray, our old enemy is a new blessing.
A granter of complex emotions.
Changing over time.

We fall down with gravity, hitting the peddles
like-- in a pinball machine, and each toss and turn
shapes and forms us, with scars and cuts,
a shame, but without them, we wouldn't be.

As we grapple that people talk and think about us
How do they see us? How do we see us?
Now we know though, it's not one the other. Both!
A lovely blissful, true blue, ambiguity. Gray.

Stream of Thought: Mumble Jumble

Tingle. Curated this mess.
Hot temples. The lump at the back
of my mouth, beats monotone.
Being a feeler of feelings comes but
with a cost. Rock bottom is deeper.

For the barter: a moment of respite
to ease those heavy breaths. I'd
give up this knowledge. The sunny
ambiguities have turned into cold uncertainties.
Could I, just for a moment, turn it off?

If I could float between puffs,
the clouds, just existing within
the sweet air, hidden by the folds
that cover eyes, numbing, complete silence.

Maybe my fingertips would loosen
I'd be distant, removed but observing
Sitting with those monks, who simplified essense
to the core. But, simply, mortally, painfully,

In this moment, there was no seat for peace.

Thoughts used to sit side by side,
obediantely and organized, just waiting
for their turn on the soap box. To be
the center of enlightenment for her.

Spinning in gray matter, holding out
a hand to try to capture, but then
opening it for nothing. Just muted
mist, resting on her pulse.

Unrestrained, jumping on a bed all at once
her thoughts fight for a turn, but
none of them get a chance. They're all subject
to the imprisoment of curiosity.

The curiosity and buzzing fills a hmm
like a backdrop, for the confusing dizziness.
On the brink of losing it. Grabbing shoulders,
shaking so hard, but nothing seems to work.

In this case, manipulation is most effective.
Pretending until the unreal is real. Nothing is real.
That's how I used to feel. But now everything just
got too real. Too real?! Does this even make sense??

Not really. But still, there are things.
It makes no sense, but still, those things.
Cause flutter, chipper, hope, and stability.
It's in the spirit, mystification of how.

It can't be explained. It's seeking to find it.
Learning, seeking, searching always.
Thoughts are thoughts. Despite the clarity they lack.
Despite the clarity they lack.

How to be the best advice giver to your friend!

We’ve all had that moment when you are listening to your friend ranting about their ex, or their mom, or their pet even. There’s that look you give them, filled with pity and remorse. You either make a joke to help, offer a story of your own, or rag with them on the victim. But what about finally giving some solid advice for the situation for your friend to actually use? Here are some tips for becoming the best “Dr. Phil” you can be.

For the friend that talks and talks for (what seems to be) forever:

      1. Practice “effective listening.”

This is a huge one. Sometimes your friend just wants to be truly heard and validated. This is for the friend that just doesn’t keep their mouth shut. Make sure to let them say everything out loud, only interrupting with phrases like “that’s interesting.” or “that sounds super rough.” Make sure to nod and focus your thoughts only on their words. No phone peeks! Ask them questions about the situation, to show that you in fact are wishing to understand it better. Listening alone can be very therapeutic for this person and can help them come to a solution on their own. They’ll love you for NOT talking over them.

For the friend that hates quotes or anything sentimental:

       2. Play up your comical relief side.

This person won’t appreciate a lesson on “enjoying the little things in life” or “thinking positive”. Your friend is looking for either one of two things: a great joke on the situation to make them laugh about it, or some hella’ good advice that they can actually use. Whichever one is your forte’, or the better option for you, go with. Do NOT tell this person that things have a way of working themselves out, or that everything will be okay. They won’t buy it. It’s just not the way they think and those words mean nothing to them. So try to tell them what to do, and save the emotions for another time.

For the friend that feels alone:

       3. Reassure reassure reassure.

This person is expressing their vulnerable side to you. Their voice is cracking, they may be tearing, really seeming to be on the brink of losing it. It’s important to be sensitive. Being sensitive includes reassurance and offering easy to follow advice. Again, stay far away from the sentiment and save it for others. Say things like “ I totally understand how you feel” (emphasizing totally) and “I would feel exactly the same way.” (emphasizing exactly). Give them a solid action in going forward. This could be offering a distraction like a movie, or food option. Either way, give them something to hold on to and assure them that how they feel is completely normal.

For your super negative and cynical friend:

       4. Show them the bright side!

No, this does not mean throw out your favorite positive quote. Share a story of your own that makes your friend’s situation sound like a piece of cake. But don’t make it a sob story. In this situation, it’s a hilarious unfortunate happening. Here’s an example: Your friend is complaining about a friendship fall out. The other party ignores your friend like she’s the plague and honestly seems to not care one bit. Your story to share: That time you forgot your ID and couldn’t take the SAT in junior year and had to wait 6 months. Or better, that time you missed a college class final by confusing the time slot and waiting 3 summer months to take the makeup to finally end up with a C in the class. Or even better! That time you got adult chicken pox on the eve of your birthday and cancelled all party plans to lay in bed and itch all day. Go crazy with it!

There you go for now! That can definitely cover some of your friends, even the most crazy ones. For all the quote lovers remember this one:

“Do not treat your friend how you want to be treated. Their tastes may be different.”

Now that’s something they don’t tell you in grade school. We always give advice and say what we would want to hear if we were in our friend’s position. But many a times, this advice doesn’t help the friends who are opposite of us. They don’t want what we want! We need to cater to our friends needs and really put ourselves in their position before saying what we want to say. Remember, the conversation is not about you. It’s about your friend and his or her needs.

Best of luck!

The good sigh

The sweet sound of the trumpet
playfully tunes out it's catchy beat
The pores of sunlight shine and
a sweat drop rolls down her temple.

Clean lines and white perfection
within a perfectly placed photograph

The smooth transition from yellow
to green in a ripe avocado.

When milk hits the coffee surface
The liquid dances with it's partner.

The steam water presses and soothes
skin thankful for the hot shower.

A thick tarte greek yogurt wraps
its texture round her tongue.

These are good sighs. But we are.

A large community of knit-pickers
scratches on apples.
extra skin on the body.
greener grass on his lawn.
Blips in good days.
One can always find them.
Second guessing the good in our lives.
Consider that in doing so,
a lethargy spreads. Instead of
days going by, its going. That's obvious.
Why not answer something different?

Get this. Even if
the course of events uncoursed
and the mind stretched further
must that be spread to all? Why not
try to answer "How's your day going?"
With the answer you wished for.
Be careful what you wish for. Except don't be.
It's not like happiness ever
decreases from being shared.
So next time, smile for others, not yourself.
And light a thousand candles.
Sometimes there is sweetness in the cracks.
You never know.